You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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