dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
