Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
