It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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