1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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