I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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