My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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