yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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