I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
