Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
