I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
