wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
