Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
