i permit you to call me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
