Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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