I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
