also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
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oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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