the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
