How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
