Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This girl is more easily done than said...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
