just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
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it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
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She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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