bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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