why didn't you poke me back
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
