2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
