Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize