don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
