i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
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We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize