I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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