So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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