i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
