The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I didn't notice because vodka
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
