Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I don't think brook has ever known best
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
