that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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