THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
