Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
