He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
