We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
