so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize