The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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