maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
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I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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