We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
