I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
