OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
