New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
