Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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