If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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