quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
