cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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