I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
