my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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