She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
