Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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