someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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