I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
