I'm gonna have a badass scar
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
