wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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