Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
