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When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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